Tuesday, May 13, 2014


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So we meet again. Hi blog. Hi friends. Hi
This month was hard.
This YEAR is hard.
2014 has not been the kindest.
But i'm OK. I have no room to complain, but sometimes I do. And that's OK.
I want...I need everyone to know of my gratitude to them these past months. For their support, love, and words of advice, the littlest text would swoop me up into tears and I would just become so overcome with so much thankfulness. I am so blessed. 
There's a reason for anything and everything. I don't put that lightly either. Each day, I think (deeply) about little things that impact big things or big things that impact little things in my life, and I am continuously in awe about how EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Holy canoli guys I tell you what. That thought can send me off in such deep thought for hours upon hours, I may not get it in the beginning, but in the end, it all pieces itself together and you get that "ah-ha" moment. Those suck sometimes (who likes to admit stupidity?)
My "ah-ha" moment finally came.
And wanna know what?
I'm happy. I am so so happy.
I waited a while (two years to be exact) for my ah-ha moment. I put myself through a lot and I put others through a lot for my ah-ha moment.
 The world broke my heart ten ways to Sunday.
But Sunday is my favorite day again.
While unknowingly searching for the "ah-ha" I discovered so much more.
I found my love for videography and the passion I have for it.
I found out that my family is the greatest family in the whole world (this includes non-blood family members on Vaughn Ave.) I was carried when I was done, when I was about to give up. In my darkest place, they were the light through it all. I couldn't have gotten through those moments without them.
I found my "friend-family" as I like to call it. It really is a 2nd family unit that I am so grateful for. I have met some of the most genuine and real people through this and I am so thankful I get to keep them forever. Who doesn't want two families?!
I found Ryan Edward Fischer. The cliché "I wasn't looking, but he just appeared" story. But it's true. The last thing on my mind, but low and behold, the date to the batting cages really won my heart. I have never met a more sincere, tender-hearted, smart, patient, selfless, hardworking, amazing person, as Ryan. I thank my lucky stars that he came into the picture.
I found a deeper and stronger relationship with the savior. I strive daily to be who he wants me to be, and who he knows I can be. I hold our relationship above all others and I am eternally grateful for the time I had to give my all to him, in my quiet cries of need, he was there. And I will forever remember that.
I found myself.
And I think I've been missing for a long time.
So hey Tori
It's nice to finally see you again.